Thursday, July 22, 2010

Truth: More Complex Than Fiction

I have a penchant for writing, but I loathe writing fiction. Correction, I can't write fiction. Ergo, my feelings for fiction are analogous to my feelings towards algebra and geometry... I greatly admire those with capabilities that enable them to write fiction and solve complex problems, but I rather despise the practices myself.

That being said, I don't write fiction. On Monday, July 19th, I received a voicemail that reminded me of something I wrote. That something was a 500 word blurb for a life insurance company. It briefly told the story of struggle, pain, and financial worry--my family's story.

Evidently the story 8 kids, a determined widow, a bittersweet 16th birthday, an infant, a four year old's tears,and their tenacious spirit struck a cord in the hearts of the review committee. I won a scholarship, rather, they bought my story off of me--for a $5,000 scholarship.

Hurray, right? Well, writing the essay was easy (after I bawled my eyes out as I ripped open the scars of that time) but convincing my the scholarship committee to let me be a wise 19 year old, and hold the scholarship for NEXT year will be harder.

I'd be afraid, I would, but my God is greater than petty rules. I would greatly appreciate everyone's prayers in this. :)

I couldn't help feeling a bit Anne Shirley-esque,for my dear story was being exchanged for cold, hard cash. Granted, it is a scholarship, but the insurance company is going to use my essay (and picture) to show parents the pain of not buying life insurance. (It's a brilliant idea to use real stories, I think.)

For a few hour, I excitedly thought I would be able to return to CBU this year. And yes, the money lined up perfectly. But, college is supposed to be the first stage of adulthood, and the money of adulthood is more than college tuition. It would be wiser for me to stay home for another year and work, and that is what I'm planning on doing--prayerfully.

As I had decided that, I went to Butte Community College's orientation today. I loathe orientations. The giddy, hyped up staff, that tries to convince potential students that college is a gay,delightful season, which just a bit o' nasty homework in the mix irks me greatly. I dislike labeling myself as a college student because of the collegiate persona.

Currently I'm writing a paper on God's immutability, something that is extremely precious to me--especially as I've dealt with quite a few painful changes. This theology class I have been taking has opened my eyes to the God I serve. It is refreshing and comforting to be reminded that God will never change, but He has such a brilliant and varied nature. It is a sharp contrast to the ever-changing, pitiful human world.

This week has shown me in sharp clarity how much God cares for the widow and orphan. IN fact,that will be one of the dominate motifs in my paper. Winning that scholarship--having my story broadcasted--felt like a hug, as if my Heavenly father knew I was missing having a dad to hug me now and then.

My family's story is a sad one, indeed. I cited Joanna's response to Daddy's death in my essay--"my Daddy's dead" is a sentence no 3 year old four days short of her birthday should ever utter, but our story is also a beautiful one. It is one that tells the tale of God's love for the widow and orphan, His immutability, and ability to work through my 19 year old ramblings and an enterprising life insurance company to send me off to college. The past few days have been a poignant reminder of how my life is to bring glory to God, and I see His glory manifested through His blessings in my life.

Sadly enough, I wasn't able to speak of God in my essay. But though I wrote about how we lacked physical life insurance, I can joyfully exclaim now that we had the peace of knowing that Daddy had spiritual life insurance. My God's provision for my family, and the salvation He offers, far supersedes any life insurance policy.

No comments:

Post a Comment