Homeschooling: the Realities

Let's talk about homeschooling.

A few weeks ago I found this article 18 Reasons why Doctors and Lawyers Homeschool and shared it to facebook. I was delighted to see articulate article by erudite source that talked about the method of homeschooling, itself,  rather than just the ideology of most homeschoolers. It's really NOT just for the jean jumper brigade any more. It's becoming what it should be: a purist, hybrid, modern approach to education. Homeschooling gives parents another option for raising, growing, and bettering their children. And that's a wonderful thing.
It's that part of homeschooling that causes me to want to homeschool some (if not all) of my children for a while.

However, this article, like every other pro homeschooling article, works so hard to eradicate the myths and legends about homeschooling that it paints a too glossy picture. Reality is never glossy, never perfect, never seamless, and certainly never easy.

Reality is that a child whose parents are not proactive about involving him in sports, extra-curricular activites, clubs,  Sunday School, Awana, co/op, or other social settings will crave social interaction. Parents have to actively seek out ways to place their children in settings with children their own age--and other people. It is not nearly the issue that opponents construe it as, but neither should the thought be ignored, as so many advocates claim. Homeschooled kids can and do become lonely. Children need more than siblings, book characters, and imaginary friends.

Don't do that ;)

Reality is that just because a classroom with 35 children and one teacher is, indeed, an inefficient mode of education, pulling a child out of that classroom and into the home environment is not automatically a better option. Yes, I said it. The mere act of  saying "we're homeschooling--fa-di-dah, public school system!" does not automatically create better education options for a child. Homeschooling takes research, commitment, time, and intensive work.  Homeschool parents have to truly understand not just their children, but their children's educational needs. They have to learn about curriculum, become aware of what their children are learning, and admit when a method is failing. So many homeschool parents pull their children out of public schools because they feel their children's education is not individualized, and rightly so. Unfortunately, many of those same parents saddle their children with a homeschooling method that is not right or healthy for the child. Homeschooling gives you the option of research and customization: embrace it.


Reality is that homeschooling is a lot like marriage--in that, you think it will absolve your flaws, but instead it highlights them. As a parent, your patience, resolve, and skill will be tried daily. As a student, your weaknesses will be elucidated. I am still horrible at motivating myself to actually do my homework. When I was homeschooled and had no teacher to actually grade my work, I did the homework I wanted to do and ignored the other stuff. (We used Abeka video, so I was blessed to be able to be ahead of my peers academically with minimal paperwork, although high school was a somewhat tetchy.)

Reality is that homeschooling is much, much harder than sending your child to school. Homeschooling puts the weight of your child's education and mind on your shoulders. If a child is doing badly or struggling, it cannot be blamed on that teacher or  the principal. However, because it is up to you, you can find the solution.

Reality is that some days you will hate homeschooling, and so will your children. Some days you will fail, and doubt yourself. But, there will be the days that it will be beautiful, idyllic, an almost utopia in your dining room.


Reality (and this is especially important for the ideology of homeschooling) is that you might stop homeschooling. Homeschooling may cease to be the best option for your, or for one particular child. Sending your child back to school does not make you a failure as a mother, homeschooler, or person. In fact, in many cases, it is the best option for the child, and that makes you a better mother (or father). Too often homeschoolers who "convert" to different education systems are looked on with pity or scorn. They're seen as going over to "the dark side" and their former fellow homeschoolers watch eagerly, waiting for any signs of their children's moral demise. That, dear people, is horrible.

Reality is that homeschooling is a viable option that is shunned by many people who would benefit from embracing it. It is also an option that is fiercely clung to by some who need to let go. It is an option. It is not a form of worship, nor must it become the sole pedagogical style of any family.

Reality is that I was home schooled. There were days I loved it, and days I hated it. (I mostly hated it through high school.) I'm thankful for the education I received while homeschooling, but mostly for the time I spent with my family--specifically with my father. Because I was homeschooled (and he was self employed), I spent far more hours of the day with him than I would have otherwise. But, there are also a few weaker areas in my school education, that might not have existed had I not been homeschooled. (Or they might have. I doubt I ever was destined to be a physicist.)  However...one of my favorite benefits of homeschooling is that I've never been even remotely afraid of finals--at all.

Note: My mom is actually in full agreement about the imperfect state of my homeschool high school education. It was a busy season for my family, and being the oldest, certain things fell by the wayside. However, due to my experience, and vocalization of that experience, my homeschooled-through-high school siblings have had amazing, brilliant educations --designed by my mom-- and are thriving. Lesson? Listen and partner with  your older children. We can help you.  :)

I love the idea of homeschooling--its versatility, its growing popularity, its purist style of education. I'm also keenly aware of my ability to fail, my weaknesses, and every tendency that could work against me should I choose to home school my children.

Homeschooling is a fantastic option for parents. Many of the negative connotations about homeschooling are outdated or false. Just beware of naive professions of full faith and idealization.

Susie was a homeschooled kid until she was sixteen. She graduated from a "brick & mortar" Christian school and is now paying her way to a B.A. degree. She still hates homework and loves finals with equal passion. 

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