"Don't you wish you had fewer siblings?"
Expression earnestly smug. Upper lip creeping towards the nose. Eyes patronizing.
For anyone with more than three sibling, and especially those with a sibling count on both hands, that question and that look is familiar.
Askers of this question seem to think it's their right--complete with the expression-lip-eyes performance.
It's incredibly rude. Frighteningly stupid. And obviously thoughtless.
But never fear, you who know not the joys of many siblings! I am here to 'splain just why a van-load of siblings is one of the best gifts a parent can give!
Or just why I love being a big sis to seven
Point one: Medical science:
I have seven siblings. If I contract a disease that leaves me in dire need of a transplant of some sort from a relative, I have seven siblings to tap. That's seven times more sources than if I had one sibling.
No need to grow another child for the sole purpose of being a harvesting field for the first one. Yes, people actually do that.
Point two: I love to laugh
Think Mary Poppins and the old laughing man who floated up to the roof. [We loved watching movies with the proper amount of singing, dancing, and family fun for both genders.] Become a fly-on-the-wall for an "eight kid plus mom" dinner at the Manthei's and your little fly ears will be over-run with laughter. There's just so many people, experiences, and countless inside jokes, and napkin-stealing, (more on that to come), that laughter pervades the room.
I sometimes get bored at other people's houses because of the lack of laughter. Everyone and thing is so dull and boring and quiet.
It can take a few days, weeks, months, years to grow accustomed. The first few times my fiancee visited (then boyfriend) he laughed at all the wrong moments. We were worried. However, a plan was concocted. I would make note cards to tell him when to laugh, and to what caliber and whatnot.
Thankfully, Stephen turned out to be a perfect fit and notecards were never needed. But I'll make some for anyone who cares to visit!
Of course if you don't like laughing, I can see axing a sib or two.
Point three: the value of napkins:
To the majority of Americans, a napkin is an inanimate object tasked with the earthy chore of cleaning the hands and face during a meal.
To someone who grew up in a large, napkin-stealing family a napkin is something to be treasured, guarded with one's life, and always, always watched.
I would like to thank my brothers, specifically, for teaching me this.
Point four: Frugality is life:
People were fond of asking my parents if they only fed us 5 out of 7 days of the week to cut costs (Seriously, people just don't think or use manners) and other such....lovely...questions.
While it does cost more every time you add another person to the family, big families often practice awesome economical measures everyone else only discovers during "hard times."
Such as...
Hand-me-downs are fun!
Handing your kids money every time, or most of the time, (shocking) they ask doesn't make one a good parent.
Children should have a good grasp of what items cost.
Bulk buying is fabulous.
Americans buy A LOT of extras in regard to food.
Gardens are a great summer occupation for littles.
Labels are...well labels.
Vacations should have more of a point than just lying on the beach.
[If the family believes in fast food] there is such a notion called the dollar menu.
Water is awesome.
No one needs a new backpack every year, or VANS, or...[insert pricey item parents thoughtlessly buy for children]
And other fun, money-saving facts.
Point five: and a personal favorite:
Becoming a non-bratty car rider.
Children with many siblings learn how to ride in cars nicely. They don't need three seats, an ipod, a magazine, an i-phone, and litany of complaints to keep them entertained.
We learn how to squish and grin, and who really needs five forms of entertainment with seven hilarious siblings along for the ride--literally!
Of course, there's downsides to so many siblings..
Having life-long friends
An amazing support system
Not going to Disneyland until the ripe old age of 14--my hair was basically gray
Not thinking once a month shopping binges are necessary.
Yes, as you can see, I'm definitely scarred from my seven siblings. But strangely, no, rude question-asker, I wouldn't give up a single one. Ever.
In case you still think I ought, why don't you pick one for me.
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