Half-Orphaned Children

A most precious cause

Say the word "orphan" and the image of a bedraggled, barefooted, starving, wide eyed wee one comes to mind. The Victorian idea of an orphan is indeed alive and well in the world today, as well as the wholesome, well fed, beautifully clothed parentless child of the U.S.. Both types of orphans exist and need to be loved and welcomed into a home.

But there is another genre of orphan, the half orphan. To say you are a "half-orphan" is to elicit laughter and eye-rolling, but that doesn't negate experience.

To lose a parent.

To watch one half of one's stability system, world, love-provider, and  source of protection crumple and disappear. To wonder if you'll ever be safe again. Or pray that your life goes quickly so that you may once again see your parent. To have to hold yourself up, and not cry in public when the pain seizes you. To endure Father's or Mother's day, and envy those lucky enough to celebrate it with living parents. To dread Christmas, Thanksgiving, or any other holiday because it will only remind you that Daddy/Mama isn't there. To know that you will always be the kid who can't say "my parents" without wincing, or even to hear it. To pretend to strangers that you still have both parents and revel in the untruth that keeps the world right. To mark every birthday with the grim knowledge that every year is another spend without him/her, that soon you'll have lived more years of your life without him/her than with him/her.
To try to re-create as many memories or experiences of that parent for younger siblings--if you're lucky enough to remember that parent. Or to be too young to have any memories, and wonder constantly who Daddy/Mommy was, why he/she left you, and to forever try to define the word. Or, most cruelly, to have been old enough for a few memories but young enough so that they fade with time, until Daddy/Mommy becomes only a word and the faintest memory.

And people say half -orphans don't exist!

For those of us who have lived these experiences and can tell the tale of such a life, the phrase half-orphan is a descriptive one, indeed. We are different from our peers. We have experienced what many will not experience for many years. We are drawn to others who have lost Dad or Mom, as well, for they know. Backgrounds, social or economic status can be put aside for a moment, a moment of silent knowing. "You lost one, too." 

We're a rank of children and young adults that has seen one of the grimmest parts of life. We are pulled together by a force, a force of shared pain. We may have nothing else in common, not be friends, not have any other reason to speak, but we are united by our experiences.

The half-orphans of the world understand the word compensation all too well. We know what it's like to watch the remaining parent try to be both Mom&Dad. We try to be part-parent to younger siblings, offering the guidance that Daddy/Mommy was supposed to have.
Oftentimes, we have to work harder--harder to support ourselves, harder to assure ourselves that we are not letting our dead parent down, harder to promise our own (future) children a brighter future.

We are all have our causes, our pet charities, those ideals that cause us to rally. Mine is the half orphans of the world. Those children, or former children, that lost a parent all too early, and have taken the pain and the loss and grown from it.

I won a scholarship competition based on telling the experiences of losing a parent. I ripped the scabs from my wounded heart and told my family's story. I've gone to the head of a financial aid department, or two, of a Christian university to try to persuade them to add a scholarship for students who have lost a parents.  I've traveled to insurance conventions to tell my family's story, to try to relay the pain and fear losing a parent causes, and the beauty that can rise from ashes.

Beauty does rise from ashes. 

Losing a parent is a brilliant, painful fire that tears a heart, a home, a family down and threatens to hurl it apart forever. It is possible to rebuild, though. Possible to take the ashes, shredded emotions, and pain, and rebuild the heart, the home, and the family. Many, many half-orphan have taken their experiences and grown from them, bettered themselves. Oftentimes they are the most motivated...because they must be.

In solidarity with a fellow half-orphan, in respect for what one of my peers has accomplished, in love for a sister in Christ, I heartily endorse, encourage, and plead with you to vote for the story found by clicking the link below.

Glory's Story

To vote for Glory's story and help her win a scholarship  you must
-be an undergrad or graduate student
-register "to vote" for her story (super easy. Just don't click the box to get emails and you'll be fine)
-and click "vote for this story"

Glory is an amazing young woman; one with a sad story in her past, a brilliant future, and an everlasting love of Christ. I was honored to serve with Glory--and her now deceased father--on Glory's first mission trip to Mexico. Her story is a beautiful, moving one, and that alone makes it worthy of your vote. If that's not enough reason, read through my description of life without a parent, or my post Losing Daddy for more about the reality faced by those of us who have lost a parent.

For my personal story, and more information on the Life Lessons scholarship (of which I am a recipient) go here:
My Story

Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you. James 1:27