A Letter to Myself at 18

Sometimes I worry that I'll be a person who is in college for ten years, running aimlessly around the track of undergrad academia, slowing to add another minor or major, terrified to actually finish the race.

But I'm not. I won't be. 

After  I finish the second of my summer classes, I'll be seven classes away from my Bachelor's degree in English. Seven. That's just a full semester. Unfortunately, Regent University has horrid class selection, so despite my best efforts to graduate in December 2013 (8 semesters after I began college), I'll graduate in the Spring of 2014. 

Still, a debt free degree in a field I'm passionate about. 

I've worked when others played, sacrificed while others feasted, pushed forward when others stopped, and I'm about to finish the race.

Now, a letter to myself at eighteen.

Dear Susie,
I know you're terrified and feel like I failure. I know how much you want to be at school this semester, how saddened you are that you're working at an old folks home instead of enjoying your freshman semester at college.
First, that boy  you're dating, Stephen? You're going to marry him. Yes, you will. But you should know, Basic and tech school are going to be horrible, so be strong. Be kind. Be giving. He will come home to you.

Secondly, you'll grow to love that job that so frightens you. You'll become one of the quickest, spunkiest, but most loving caregivers WestHaven will ever see. You'll protect those residents, love them, care for them, and serve 'til the very end. In fact, you'll meet one of your best friends there, and two of your bridesmaids will come from friends you made there. And, you'll grow homesick for that job and community. 
Oh, and you'll buy your first car, pay tuition, and the cost of your wedding from those wages. (If I could change the past, I'd tell you not to buy that Chevy Aveo. It looks so pretty, but it breaks down constantly.)

Third, you WILL graduate debt free. Yes, you will. You'll fight for every penny. Cry when you need to, write letters, win scholarships and debates, work 39 hours a week while commuting to school full time all to pay for it. And you'll succeed. It will hurt when others graduate before you do. But you'll succeed. You're going to work hard, so hard. There will be nights when you'll fall asleep, muscles aching, only to wake up early to rush off to school and work again. There will be many people who won't support you. Not because they don't love you, but because they don't think what you're doing is possible. Yet, you'll succeed. 

However, you'll give up some things. If I could forewarn you, I'd tell you to not quit running. First, you'll lose those leg muscles that you're secretly proud of. Then, you'll grow flabby. Slowly, you'll gain weight. Before you know it, you'll have gained forty pounds and horrible eating habits. Yes, darling, you'll get fat. However, I have faith that the girl who was tenacious enough to refuse 40 thousand in student loans can lose 40 pounds. Just remember how much you love the feeling of your feet hitting the pavement. 

But dear Susie, when your peers are struggling to make student loan payments, or wandering around desperately seeking jobs, you can sit happily at your laptop, spinning away stories, editing, teaching, and living out the career and life you always wanted.  You'll have learned how truly tenacious you can be. How ridiculous the education system is. You'll gain work experience that stems from the desperation of having to work. But most of all, you'll get that degree--completely debt free. 

Oh and finally, you'll get a job at Starbucks--just like you always wanted! 
Love,
The older, wiser, fatter (sorry), happier, and married-
Susie