When People Doubt Your Success

I'm super spoiled.

My mom and dad always thought I was awesome, talented, capable, and pretty much oozing with potential. My dad always assumed that I could do anything because I was his daughter, and my mother believes anything is possible with God, so she prays for me daily.

My was a huge influence on my quest to go to college debt free. In fact, she was the one who first told me that I couldn't take out loans. She's prayed for me every step of the way. She's called school offices when I was too exhausted to do it, and she's been such an encouragement to me.

She's been an encouragement in everything. When I decided to get married, she threw all her energy, connections, and spirit into it.

So when I told her that I was pregnant, and that yes, I was still going to graduate, she wasn't fazed at all. She just beamed about the baby and assured me that she'd help me. She gave me the encouragement I needed to know that I could have a baby and still graduate, and do it debt free.

I have a plan. Yes, this plan hinges on a healthy baby and things going well, but doesn't every plan hinge on surrounding circumstances going well. Yes, this plan means that I'll have to rely on resources such as my family and friends, that I'll have to schoolwork early, that I'll be balancing the newborn stage with finishing two classes. It means that I get to be a student, a barista, a wife, and a pregnant lady--all at one time.  It means all these things. And honestly, I'm terrified of something going completely awry and all my tentative plans falling through. However, I'm trusting God.

I haven't had much negativity towards my desire to still graduate. Most people who know me realize that my college journey hasn't been cliche. They know that it's been filled with hard work (literal work). They know that I've worked to accomplish things that are seemingly impossible. So, being pregnant during my last few classes and then having a newborn during the last few weeks of school--that just seems like the perfect finale to this crazy journey.

I heard my first detractor today. It was a professor who assumed I couldn't balance everything. That being pregnant and working and in school would be too much, too hard, and that I would fail. The worst part of this is, I'm not surprised that it was a professor. Most professors are negatively inclined towards people who don't make school their life. They say things like "people can't work more than fifteen hours a week while in school" or "you'll get bad grades". The professors who said this found themselves giving me As, and wondering how I did it all.

Still, detractors hurt. People who think I won't reach my goals chip away at my resolve. I find myself saddened that people truly think so little of others. That the idea of the lazy college student has so pervaded our culture that professors are amazed when they meet people like me. I'm a college student. I'm a wife. I'm a pregnant woman. I'm a barista. I nanny. I write. I do many, many things. But the detractors won't cease. They sit on the sidelines of life, waiting for people to fail.

I don't succeed to prove the detractors wrong. I succeed to prove the advocates right. My mother's prayers spur me on, even when I'm tired and sore. They remind me to press forward, even when my search for others like me proves futile. I work towards my goals because I serve a God who is omniscient. He is the great Encourager. He doesn't doubt. He knows my pitiful human strength, so He strengthens me. I'm going to ignore that professor, as I've always ignored people like her. I'm going to hope and pray that, through me, she sees that the ordinary can be cast aside for the extraordinary. That hard work and perseverance are beautiful attributes. I hope she learns that her world of academia is just one of the many facets of the complicated, amazing life I live. And I hope she learns not to doubt.