Mommyhood: Playing the Advocate

I've been blogging at the worst pace and schedule, ie, none lately. I'm hoping that once school is done, I can make this more of an intentional project. Maybe.

Now onward  to more exciting discussions...

I have an almost-seven week old! Yes, we survived the first few weeks, those weeks of constant nursing and crying (from both parties). Lando is plumping up beautifully, and I'm even spying some rolls on his baby thighs! His smiles seem more intentional, especially since he likes to direct them primarily at his food source parent. However, when I told him to "smile for the camera" earlier today, he gave me this face:

That would be a no

And as this picture attests, he's losing his baby hair at a rapid pace. But only on the top, so he has a noticeable fringe. Friar Lando from the back, suspicious baby from the front. 

My pregnancy/birth/newborn philosophy of see what the baby wants is leading me down a path of lots of nursing and now pumping because somebody (ahem, Lands) hates formula. He despises it with a passion that would make a crunchy mama's heart swell with utter pride.

 I'm not sure which he detests more--formula or regularly shaped pacifiers. He doesn't mind the Soothie brand, but pray tell, how are the dratted things supposed to stay in?

His preferences and needs are shaping me, changing me into his personal advocate. My infant adores on-demand nursing? We nurse on demand when possible. My baby wants to eat when we're in public, and his relationship with the nursing cover is tenuous? I certainly hope there's no one bothered by the sight of humans eating. [I'm convinced I tend to make more of a scene with the cover because I'm fiddling with it, he's protesting, and I'm trying to simultaneously soothe him, get things arranged, and apologize to everyone else with my eyes. Wearing suitable clothing makes the process much easier.] The result is that I have a happy baby, one who sleeps for 3-5 hour stretches, will nurse whenever I offer it to him, but can also deal with not nursing for a few hours if necessary or taking a mommy milk-filled bottle. 

Landon's birth was by no means crunchy. In fact, it was filled with the medical interventions  that people work diligently to avoid. But it was perfect for our family at that time. We were dealing with a timeline that gave us mere days together as a family. I opted for an induction to capitalize on every hour possible. Then the situation changed, and days after I gave birth my reason for the induction no longer existed. I'm so thankful I did it, though. I did it for my family, taking that first step in becoming my child's advocate. 

When the doctor told me that Landon would need to be a C-section baby, I felt an odd peace. I was surprised--it would be a very different birth than I had envisioned, but somehow I knew it was right for him, for us. I'm so thankful I didn't fight it, didn't try to delay. He came out so healthy, ready to nurse and start life as a newborn, with zero complications. 

And that's what mommyhood seems to be about. About loving, advocating for, and nurturing the precious life we have been given. For me, Landon's birth day involved major abdominal surgery. It was what brought my darling son into the world, and I'm so thankful for it. At almost seven weeks post partum, caring for my baby requires that my body, time, and even emotions not be my own. That my very being be dedicated to growing my wee man. 

I don't know what motherhood will require of me in a year or in five years. I hope to continue my mellow whatever is best for baby approach to his life, discerning between the multitude of options in this crazy world. 

I have so many friends pregnant and having babies right now--'tis the season. The ones who are a little ahead of me in the journey unwittingly encourage me by their pictures of beloved babies, and the very fact that they have survived. Their devotion to their babies strengthened me when I was exhaustion and worried. And my friends with tiny humans growing in their bellies? They make me smile with joy, as I remember the experience they are having now. Experiences just a few month old, but already saved in the annals of my mothering history.  

And now I'm going to go happily stare as the love of my life and my pride and joy play and bond together.

Limited comment policy still--I apologize!